


stay the night (i don't want to say goodbye)

by void_fish



Series: sub dubi [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 22:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13420743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/void_fish/pseuds/void_fish
Summary: Dubi tilts his head. ‘So--’ he starts. ‘I don’t have plans today after I finish kicking your ass.’Cam blinks. ‘Uh,’ he says. ‘What?’Dubi shrugs. ‘It’s almost the end of the season. We’ll have new rookies soon for you to dom, but until then, why don’t you-- just dom me?’‘Have you ever subbed a day in your life?’ Cam asks, eyeing him.Dubi shrugs. ‘I can learn,’ he says, like it’s simple.





	stay the night (i don't want to say goodbye)

**Author's Note:**

> for once, twitter didn't make me do it, i only have myself to blame
> 
> big big big thanks to lil, who not only beta'd, but chatficced like 80% of this fic with me, because she's an angel

Joey gets the call while he’s on his knees for Cam. He startles out of his daze and stumbles to his feet, turning away as he answers it, trying to clear the subspace out of his voice.

They both knew it was coming, but it still fucking sucks, watching Joey’s posture get tight, his shoulders square.

Cam can hear Jarmo on the other end of the line, tinny but apologetic, _thank you for your time in Columbus, good luck in Nashville_ , etc.

‘Ry?’ Cam asks, when he finally hangs up.

It takes Joey a second to react. He throws his phone at the wall and leaves without it.

‘ _Ryan_ ,’ Cam says, as he’s shouldering his way through the door.

‘Don’t,’ Joey snaps, and then the door is closing behind him.

-

Not having Joey is-- weird. Cam feels unbalanced. There are no other subs on the team that need a dom, and sometimes Jack will let him put him down, just to make him feel better, but it’s not the same.

The season is hell. Even with Seth, who makes it a little better, it’s still fucking awful.

Seth’s a sub, and Cam thinks for a second that he might let Cam dom him, but he falls straight in with Murrs, which makes sense, but Cam spends an awful couple of hours thinking shitty thoughts about Murrs, who has _two_ subs, while Cam’s trying to make do with random call-ups when they do happen.

And that’s kind of how the season’s going to go, Cam figures. He won’t really dom anyone else, and the team is going to end up stuck at the bottom of the standings, and it’s just-- shit.

-

It’s been a couple of weeks since the trade. Cam’s at Dubi’s, playing Chel, when Dubi kicks at Cam’s hip, makes him fumble the puck.

‘What?’ Cam asks, glancing over. Normally he’d kick back, but. He doesn’t feel like it.

‘God, this is so fucking depressing,’ Dubi says. ‘You’re like a drowned puppy.’

‘--What?’ Cam asks, sitting up a little straighter.

‘Ever since Joey left, you’re just-- sad.’

‘I’m fine,’ Cam says, but it’s hollow even to him.

Dubi fixes him with a look that says he’s fooling no one. ‘You miss your boyfriend, or your sub?’ he asks.

Cam flinches.

‘Joey and I weren’t dating,’ he says.

‘Mm-hm,’ Dubi says. ‘So, you miss your not-boyfriend, or your sub?’

Cam sighs. ‘Both, but.’

Dubi raises his eyebrows and waits.

‘I think I need to put someone down,’ Cam admits.

He doesn’t want to like, be the dom stereotype all moms warn their kids about, a control freak that can’t function unless they’re bossing someone around, but. It’s been a shitty season, and he just wants to feel like he has some form of control over-- something.

Dubi tilts his head. ‘So--’ he starts. ‘I don’t have plans today after I finish kicking your ass.’

Cam blinks. ‘Uh,’ he says. ‘What?’

Dubi shrugs. ‘It’s almost the end of the season. We’ll have new rookies soon for you to dom, but until then, why don’t you-- just dom me?’

‘Have you ever subbed a day in your life?’ Cam asks, eyeing him.

Dubi shrugs. ‘I can learn,’ he says, like it’s simple.

‘You’re a dom,’ Cam says, slowly.

Another shrug.

‘You don’t have to,’ Dubi says. ‘Just-- think about it, you know.’

Cam turns back to the TV. He loses the game 9-2, and the one after that. Dubi is smug, but in a quiet sort of way. He shoves his feet under Cam’s thigh to warm them up and helps himself to Cam’s chips.

-

Cam-- thinks about it.

Dubi’s one of his closest friends on the team. They play really great hockey together. He doesn’t think Dubi would make it weird, if Cam did dom him.

But on the flip side, Dubi’s one of his closest friends on the team. And he’s a dom. Cam might not even be able to put him down. And that would definitely make it weird.

He’s taking a shower when he lets himself think about-- the smaller details. How Dubi has stupid long eyelashes, and how they might look splayed across his cheeks as he ducks his head. How his hair might feel if Cam got to run his hands through it. How flushed he gets after skating hard, and how flushed he might get when Cam pins him down and-- disciplines him.

Cam feels guilty about jerking off in the shower to his best friend, but not guilty enough to stop, so. That might be an indication of how he feels about the whole thing.

-

He takes a week. He doesn’t jerk off thinking about Dubi on his knees again, but he doesn’t stop thinking about it, either.

They’re in Boston, in a bar, enjoying a rare win, and Dubi’s a little drunk, Cam more so.

Dubi’s leaning into Cam’s space, keeps bumping his shoulder against Cam’s, and he’s flushed and laughing and Cam realises with a start that it would be so easy to put Dubi down. He knows exactly how he’d do it, too.

Dubi isn’t Joey, he wouldn’t go down the same, with careful touches and praise. Dubi would take a bit of a fight, would make Cam grab him by the wrists or the shoulders. He might make Cam leave bruises.

Dubi gets up to piss, and Cam waits for a couple of minutes before following.

He corners Dubi coming out of the bathroom, and muscles him up against the wall.

‘I thought about it,’ he says.

Dubi grins at him, wonky. ‘Yeah?’ he asks.

Cam nods. ‘I-- we shouldn’t, while we’re drunk, but. Please?’

Dubi’s smile gets a little smirkier. ‘I’ll be real good for you,’ he says, leaning down to whisper in Cam’s ear. And then he just-- saunters off, back towards the group.

-

Cam doesn’t realise Dubi’s switched to water until he puts a glass of it down in front of Cam too, innocent.

Cam takes a swallow, and looks at Dubi questioningly.

Dubi just winks at him and tips his own glass at him.

Slowly, Cam sobers up.

-

Dubi sticks close during the walk back to the hotel. It’s not that late, but it’s late enough, the streets are quiet.

‘Are you sure?’ Cam asks, in the elevator to their rooms.

Dubi just looks at him in the mirrored door, eyebrow raised. ‘No,’ he deadpans. ‘Not at all.’

Cam shoves at him, pulling a face. Dubi laughs, and then they’re tumbling out of the elevator and into the corridor.

Cam fumbles his keycard, and Dubi has to take it out of his hands and do it himself.

Dubi sits on the edge of the bed, leans back on his elbows. Cam takes his time undressing to his undershirt, changes into sweats. When he gets back, Dubi is still sprawled out, legs crossed at the ankle.

‘You should take your shirt off,’ Cam says. ‘It’s more comfortable.’

Dubi waggles his eyebrows at Cam. ‘That an order?’

Cam hesitates for a second. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Pants too.’

Dubi looks like he’s going to argue, but he sits up and starts unbuttoning. Soon, he’s standing in front of Cam in soft looking grey briefs and a thin undershirt with a hole in the hem.

Cam takes advantage of the bed being free to take a pillow and put it on the floor, and then he sits on the bed with his feet next to it.

Dubi looks down at it, and then back up at Cam.

‘You wanna?’ Cam asks. 

The whole thing feels excruciatingly awkward, like a bad movie. Dubi rocks on his heels and hums, like he’s thinking about it. Cam feels his cheeks warm.

‘You want me to?’ Dubi asks. He’s not even made a move towards the pillow.

‘I-- that’s the whole point of this,’ Cam says. He knows what Dubi’s doing, saw this coming, but his last proper sub was Joey, who went down if you looked at him the right way. This is jarring.

Dubi hums again.

‘Make me,’ he says.

Cam takes a breath, stands up. This is new to him.

‘Kneel,’ he says.

Dubi raises his eyebrows.

‘Brandon,’ Cam says, steps forward. He gets a hand in Dubi’s hair, pulls it so his head is tilted up, neck exposed. He leans in, so he’s just nosing at the shell of his ear, and whispers. ‘Kneel for me, B.’

Dubi shivers. Cam feels his knees wobble.

‘Okay,’ he whispers, and something settles in Cam’s chest.

‘Good boy,’ he murmurs, still holding his head back, lips still practically touching his ear.

Dubi ends up on the pillow, cheek pillowed on the outside of Cam’s thigh. His face is tilted up towards Cam, but his eyes are hooded. Cam talks in a low, gentle voice, carding through his hair. It’s-- nice. Grounding. It makes Cam feel like he has a modicum of control over _something_.

Dubi doesn’t fall asleep like Joey used to, but he does make a series of sleepy, pleased sounds whenever Cam scratches at the base of his skull, gripping the short hairs there.

Eventually, Cam’s alarm goes off. He has to bring Dubi back up.

Dubi blinks, comes back to himself slowly. ‘Hi,’ he says, lazy. He has an imprint in his cheek where he’s been leaning against Cam.

‘You okay?’ Cam asks, resisting the urge to brush his thumb over it.

Dubi hums. ‘My knees are asleep,’ he admits. ‘That was--’

Cam waits, gut twisting, suddenly terrified that Dubi’s going to tell him he hated it.

‘I’ve never felt that calm before,’ Dubi says, eventually. ‘I feel-- kind of drunk, actually. Is that normal?’

Cam nods, calming down a little. ‘Your heart rate is super low right now,’ he says. ‘Your body is used to things moving a little faster, so you probably feel a little like you’re trying to do things underwater?’

Dubi nods. ‘That’s it,’ he says. ‘That’s what it’s like.’ He gives Cam a slow, brilliant smile. ‘It’s good,’ he says. ‘That was-- you’re good at this.’

‘I’m the only dom you’ve ever had,’ Cam reminds him. ‘A sample size of one should not be this convincing.’

Dubi shrugs. ‘It’s a really convincing sample.’ He shifts, and pulls a face. ‘Can I get up?’

Cam helps him up and onto the bed, and he straightens his legs out carefully, helps rub the feeling back into the muscles around his knee joints. Dubi’s face twists a little in discomfort, but whenever Cam stops, he asks him to keep going.

‘It’s fine,’ he says. ‘I’ve had worse from Doc Watson after a game.’

Cam knows what happens next. Dubi is sprawled across his bed, all long, heavy limbs, eyelids sliding shut.

Joey would have stayed. But he and Joey were not what he and Dubi _are_.

Cam climbs off the bed, and Dubi makes a distressed noise. ‘Where are you _going_?’ he asks, cracking an eye open.

‘The bathroom,’ Cam says. ‘I-- I thought maybe you’d want some privacy?’

‘Is this the part where you expect me to be gone by the time you’re out of the shower?’ Dubi asks, opening his other eye. He looks-- not quite hurt, but. Worried.

‘You want to stay?’ Cam asks, surprised.

‘I know for a fact you wouldn’t let any of your natural subs leave after kneeling,’ Dubi says, sitting up. 

‘I don’t want you to leave,’ Cam says, shrugging. ‘But I didn’t think you’d want to stay for cuddles and aftercare.’

Dubi’s face does-- something. ‘You thought wrong,’ he says. ‘I’m your sub now. Aftercare the shit out of me.’

Cam takes the quickest shower of his life. _I’m your sub now_ rattles around and around in his head. When he gets out, Dubi has made his bed into some kind of nest, with all the sheets bundled around him, and all the pillows.

‘Nice try,’ Cam says, tugging at the edge of the comforter so he can slide in. 

‘I got cold,’ Dubi says, innocent. ‘See?’ He presses his hand to Cam’s bare belly, making him flinch. ‘You should fix it.’

Cam laughs, despite himself, and muscles his way into the nest properly, sliding an arm over Dubi’s waist and ending up with his head on his chest.

‘Why are you so _cold_?’ he complains, no heat in it, rubbing his foot over Dubi’s calf.

‘Alaskan blood,’ he says, but it’s bisected by a yawn.

‘Hey, don’t fall asleep yet,’ Cam says. ‘I wanna talk about-- stuff.’

Dubi hums, sleepy. ‘Talk fast,’ he says.

Cam pinches Dubi’s side between his thumb and index finger, making him yelp. 

‘Okay, okay, I’m awake,’ he grumps.

‘Tonight was-- it was good, right? You liked it?’

Dubi hums a yes.

‘You’re not just saying that?’

Dubi laughs. ‘When have you ever known me to lie to stop someone’s feelings from being hurt?’

Cam has to admit that’s a fair point.

‘I just-- I wanted to know that you enjoyed it, not that I--’ He pauses, unsure how to phrase it.

‘You wanted to make sure you weren’t taking advantage of my brain turning off for an hour and a half?’

‘--Yeah,’ Cam admits. ‘Lots of guys would do anything in subspace, even if they wouldn’t normally.’

Dubi’s hand goes from Cam’s waist to drag down his forearm, lacing their fingers together. ‘You’re not taking advantage of me,’ he says. ‘I promise.’

-

And that’s how it goes for the rest of the season.

Cam seeks Dubi out, or Dubi seeks Cam out.

Cam’s pretty sure the whole team thinks they’re fucking, which he guesses is preferable to them knowing that Dubi’s his temporary sub.

Dubi loudly and repeatedly doesn’t care what the team thinks, he says, so. Cam lets them think what they want, too.

-

The season ends fast; they were eliminated from playoff contention weeks ago.

The last game of the season is rough. Cam hates playing Chicago, it always gets ugly; neither team plays well.

Dubi gets thrown out of the game with less than five minutes left in regulation, Cam can hear him banging and yelling all the way to the locker room from the bench.

After the game, he’s already gone, stall empty.

Cam finds him by his car, pacing.

‘I’m coming home with you,’ Dubi says. ‘I-- please.’

Cam puts a hand on the small of his back and he flinches away.

‘Sure,’ he says, not sure at all.

Dubi’s quiet but restless on the short drive home. His leg is jumping up and down the whole way.

When they get into the apartment, he disappears into the bathroom. Cam takes a second to breathe, and then gets the pillow from under the couch, gets a bottle of water, a bowl of blueberries, a candy bar and a beer from the fridge, lining them up on his coffee table.

‘I’m not kneeling,’ Dubi says from behind him. ‘I-- can’t.’

‘You can’t?’ Cam asks. He turns to face him. Dubi’s changed out of his suit, is wearing the shorts he left here last time and a shirt that Cam’s pretty sure is his.

‘It’s not enough,’ he says. There’s a faint tremble in his hands, Cam notices.

‘You want-- more?’ Cam asks.

Dubi looks tortured, but he nods.

‘Can I touch you?’ Cam asks.

Another nod.

‘Let me know if you want me to stop,’ Cam says, quiet.

He gets Dubi against a wall, pinning his hands above his head as best he can. Dubi fights back, but the angles are against him, and though he has the size advantage, Cam’s not weak. He can pin Dubi for hours if that’s what he needs.

‘More,’ Dubi says, with gritted teeth, like it’s physically paining him.

Cam takes a second to take a breath, and then he leans his weight into Dubi’s chest.

‘Go lie on my bed,’ he says. ‘Face down.’

Dubi doesn’t respond immediately. Cam squeezes harder.

‘Brandon,’ he says. ‘Answer me when I talk to you.’

He blinks down at Cam. ‘Okay,’ he says, and he sounds far away already.

‘Bed,’ Cam says, and lets him go. Dubi goes immediately into his room. He hears the bedsprings complain and then settle.

Cam takes his time gathering his things.

Dubi’s exactly where he told him to be when he gets to his room. Stretched out on his stomach, hands pillowing his cheek. He looks at Cam when he comes in, eyes wide and questioning.

Cam leaves the food and drink on his nightstand and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He pulls an old, ratty t-shirt and a pair of shorts on, and climbs up onto the bed, straddling Dubi’s hips.

‘Hands above your head,’ he says, dragging the heel of his hand down Dubi’s spine.

Dubi does, crossing them at the wrists.

Cam leans forward to take hold of them, and he puts as much of his weight on Dubi as he can, tucking his chin over Dubi’s shoulder so he can murmur quietly in his ear.

‘I used to do this for Joey after really bad games,’ he says. 

Dubi is breathing slow and shallow. Cam’s too close to be able to turn and see his face, but he can feel the tension in his body leaving as Cam weighs him down.

‘I got you,’ he says, quiet. ‘I got you, Dub.’

-

They lie in bed together after. Dubi drinks his water and his beer and eats his blueberries, but lets Cam have the candy bar.

‘I guess this is our last time doing this,’ Dubi says, putting the empty bowl down.

Cam-- hadn’t considered that.

‘I guess so,’ he says. 

Next season they’ll likely be assigned rookies. Dubi will go back to his natural dynamic, and Cam-- Cam will get a new sub. His stomach churns, unsettled. He puts the rest of the candy bar back on the nightstand; he doesn’t have the appetite for it anymore.

‘It’s been good,’ Dubi says, suddenly. ‘I had fun with you.’

‘Good,’ Cam echoes. Dubi leans into him properly, puts his head on his shoulder, sliding further into the sheets. For once, his feet are warm as he tangles his legs with Cam’s. ‘I-- me too.’ He pauses. ‘Thank you. I know this-- isn’t--’ He stops. ‘Thank you for pretending to be a sub for me,’ he says, finally. ‘It means a lot.’

‘Yeah, it was a real hardship,’ Dubi deadpans. ‘Getting looked after by you for the past two months has really sucked.’

Cam huffs out a laugh, jabs Dubi between two ribs, knowing he’s ticklish. Dubi tries to squirm away, but they’re tangled together, and he can’t get far.

‘I mean it,’ Cam says, as Dubi surrenders, curls back in. ‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Dubi says, resting his head on Cam’s chest.

They fall asleep like that, Cam listening to Dubi snore gently. He knows he has to get up tomorrow and pack, that both of them have to go to the rink for exit interviews, but right now, he doesn’t care about anything but the careful rise and fall of Dubi’s chest against his.

-

Two days before preseason ends, Cam gets called into Torts’ office.

Sedsy is sitting there, looking worried, but when he sees Cam, he smiles, gap-toothed.

‘We’ve decided to try and pair the two of you up,’ Torts says, getting right to the point. Cam appreciates a lot of things about Torts, but the main one is that he never dances around anything, or bullshits anyone.

‘Cam’s a very experienced dom,’ he tells Sedsy, who nods, earnest. ‘He knows what he’s doing. He’ll be good for you, I think.’

‘Sedsy’s never subbed before,’ he says to Cam. ‘I don’t need to tell you to be nice to him, do I?’

Cam shakes his head, and that’s the conversation over. They find themselves standing in the hall outside Torts’ office as the door shuts behind them.

Sedsy is beaming as they head back to the locker room.

‘Everyone on the team says you’re the best dom,’ he says, when Cam asks him why he’s smiling.

‘--Everyone?’ Cam asks, surprised.

‘Well, everyone I asked,’ Sedsy admits.

It’s true that Cam’s dommed most of the subs on the team. Training camp especially is used to recalibrate the team if it needs doing, to make sure that all the subs are happy with their doms, that everyone’s getting looked after. He spends a lot of his off-ice time at the rink with a sub on his knees, Cam’s hand in his hair, while a dynamic specialist brought in by the team makes notes on a clipboard.

Cam-- hadn’t dommed Sedsy. If he’s being honest, he assumed Sedsy was starting the year with the Monsters. Most people did, since he hadn’t done the rounds like Andy, or Z.

‘Huh,’ Cam says, and then they’re back in the locker room, where Dubi has Matty in a headlock, and music is blaring, and they have barely any time to adjust before Torts is sticking his head in and telling them to get their shit together and get on the ice.

-

Sedsy-- Lukas-- is probably the most well behaved sub Cam has ever had.

Cam doesn’t even need to tell him to kneel, he’ll do it all by himself, slips down into subspace as soon as Cam touches him.

It’s giving Cam a little bit of whiplash, if he’s being honest. Even at his best, Joey still needed coaxing with gentle words and touches. Cam gets the feeling Lukas would go down by himself if Cam left him to it.

Cam feels like an awful person for wishing Lukas would at least put up a little bit of a fight, but-- that’s what he wants.

It takes Cam longer than it should for him to admit that he misses Dubi.

-

He’s getting lunch with Dubi when it all comes out.

They’re shooting the shit about football mostly-- Cam knows just enough about football to trash talk the Chiefs to Dubi, which is all he really needs, when there’s a sudden change in conversation.

‘How’s your rookie?’ Dubi asks.

‘He’s-- incredibly well-behaved,’ Cam admits, which is not really an answer, but.

Dubi laughs, but it’s kind of awkward. Like he’s trying to direct the conversation somewhere, but he isn’t sure how.

‘Yours?’ Cam asks. ‘I bet he’s a fuckin’ handful, if he’s anything like he is in the room.’

Dubi lowers his fork, dropping his gaze. ‘He’s-- he’s fine.’

‘But…?’ Cam asks, because he knows Dubi.

‘I can’t put him down properly,’ Dubi admits. ‘It’s like-- I forgot how.’

Cam feels a spike of guilt. Last season was-- amazing, but he never meant to _break_ Dubi.

‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Dubi says, bitter. ‘Don’t-- I’m not-- I don’t want _pity_.’

‘I’m not pitying you,’ Cam says. ‘I’m just-- sometimes doms and subs don’t gel. It’s not you.’

But the words must sound as hollow to Dubi as they do to Cam, because he just drops his shoulders and goes back to pushing the food around his plate.

‘Have you talked to Jack?’ Cam asks, after a moment.

Dubi pauses, and shakes his head. ‘I don’t want people to know that I can’t put a twenty year old on his knees.’

Cam wants, briefly, nonsensically, to reach out for Dubi’s hand, tapping on the table.

‘I’m not a real dom,’ Dubi says, pulling his hands into his lap to shred a paper napkin.

‘Having trouble with a sub doesn’t mean you’re not a dom,’ Cam says.

‘No, I mean--’ Dubi stops. ‘I subbed in New York.’

Cam blinks. ‘--Oh,’ he says. ‘I-- didn’t know.’

‘I didn’t tell anyone. Arty knew, but.’ He shrugs. Rolls a scrap of napkin into a ball between his finger and his thumb. ‘When I came to Columbus, they assumed I was a dom. I’m big, tough, mouthy, you know? They needed someone to fill in the gap that Nash left. They had a bunch of subs and not enough doms to help them, so.’

‘So, all this time--’ Cam starts.

‘It’s never been a big deal,’ Dubi says. ‘I got used to domming then, and I’ll get used to it now. I just-- wanted you to know. You didn’t break me.’

‘I didn’t think that I had,’ Cam lies.

Dubi looks up at him. ‘You did a little bit,’ he says. ‘I can tell.’

Cam-- doesn’t say anything to that. Dubi picks up his fork, takes another bite of lunch, and just like that, the conversation is over.

They go back to normal, and if the hug Cam gives him as they part lasts a little longer than normal, well, he doesn’t think anyone notices.

-

Cam gets woken up by someone banging on his door.

He didn’t buzz anyone up, so he assumes it’s someone who’s gotten the door number wrong, a delivery guy or whatever. He pulls a shirt on and opens the door and--

‘Dubi?’

Dubi is-- a mess. He looks _awful_ , hair plastered to his head with rain water, his hands shaking.

‘Can I come in?’ he asks.

‘Jesus, yes,’ Cam says, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the apartment. He’s ice cold, and Cam ends up bundling him into warm, dry clothing, cranking the heat up and making him tea before pushing him down onto the couch.

‘What _happened_?’

Dubi opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it. He puts his tea down, and takes a cushion from the couch, and tries to slide to his knees. ‘Please,’ he says. ‘Can I-- I want-- please.’

Cam shouldn’t. Cam should ask why. Cam should make him talk about it instead of trying to hide, but Cam’s never been good at saying no to Dubi.

So he lets Dubi go to his knees, and he lets Dubi hide his face against Cam’s thigh, and he lets himself card through the damp strands of hair until the shake in Dubi’s shoulders stops.

It feels-- better than Cam should probably admit to. Dubi is hurting, Cam knows, but this just feels like it’s supposed to. Dubi belongs here, with him.

When he brings Dubi back up, maybe an hour later, Dubi looks much better.

‘You wanna tell me what happened?’ Cam asks, pulling him off his knees onto the couch. Dubi curls up against his side immediately, letting Cam put his arm around his waist.

‘Josh has been subbing for someone else,’ he says, into Cam’s shoulder. ‘He told me last night that he wants to sub for them-- officially.’

‘Oh, Dub,’ Cam says, tightening his grip. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘His new dom is _nineteen_ ,’ Dubi says. ‘Apparently they were messing around in Cleveland last season.’

‘--Ah,’ Cam says, putting the pieces together. He knew Andy and Z were close. He didn’t know they were dom and sub close. He brings his free hand up to stroke through Dubi’s hair again, and Dubi relaxes into him.

He goes down _so well_ for Cam, is the thing. He’s such a good sub for him, and Cam is a good dom for him. He just can’t figure out the words to say ‘maybe we should do this for real’ without scaring Dubi off.

Eventually, they have to move.

Cam goes into the kitchen to switch Dubi’s clothes into the dryer, and when he comes out, the living room is empty. Dubi must have gone to his room already. He takes his time in the bathroom, but when he gets to his room, it’s empty too.

The whole apartment is empty. There’s a small patch of damp carpet when Dubi’s shoes were.

Cam goes back to the couch, where Dubi’s tea is still warm, undrunk. He sits there until it goes cold, getting steadily angrier, and then makes a decision.

-

Dubi’s door is unlocked.

‘You’re an asshole,’ Cam says, standing in the doorway to the living room, where Dubi’s sitting with a blanket over his lap and another around his shoulders.

‘What the fuck?’ Dubi asks. ‘You don’t knock?’

‘You _left_?’ Cam asks. ‘I came back from drying your fucking clothes and you were _gone_ , Brandon, I think I should be the one asking _what the fuck_ here, don’t you?’

‘I don’t need you to fucking cuddle me after every time I sub for you,’ Dubi snaps.

‘Maybe you don’t, but I fucking do,’ Cam says, and watches Dubi react, his scowl disappearing, his eyes going wide as he looks up at Cam.

‘How do you think it felt finding an empty apartment?’ Cam asks. ‘You’re not the only one that needs contact after something like that.’

Dubi’s shoulders drop out of their defensive position.

‘I missed you all summer,’ Cam says, because fuck it, if he’s being honest, he might as well go the whole way. ‘And--’ He pauses, swallows. ‘I thought I got you back, and then you left.’

Dubi’s face is wide open and easy to read. He extends his arms out of his blankets, ‘C’mere,’ he says.

Cam hesitates.

‘Please,’ Dubi says, and Cam sees the faint shake in his arms. He needs this just as much as Cam does, he’s just being stubborn, because it’s Dubi, he never does anything the easy way.

Cam goes. Works his way into the tangle of blankets and lets Dubi pull him into his lap. Slowly, slowly, the tension bleeds out of both of them.

‘I’m going to ask for Sedsy to be assigned to someone else,’ Cam says. He didn’t realise he was going to say it until it’s already out of his mouth but it’s-- what should happen.

Dubi goes stiff under him.

‘Why?’ he asks.

‘He’s a good kid, he’s gonna make a really good sub for someone, just-- not for me.’

Dubi pulls Cam in a little closer, rests his chin on Cam’s shoulder. Cam can feel his breath hot on his neck. He’s not sure how long they stay like that, curled up in the blankets, but Cam’s legs cramp up, and he has to get up, shaking them.

Dubi laughs, but he tugs Cam into his room, onto his bed.

Cam’s never been in Dubi’s bedroom before. It’s surprisingly cosy, Cam’s stretched out on a thick fleece blanket, and the bed has about eight pillows piled at the head.

‘Do you really need all these pillows?’ Cam asks, settling into them while Dubi rubs the cramp out of his legs, from calf all the way up to the bottom of his ass.

‘I like to be comfy,’ Dubi says, wrinkling his nose at him. ‘You can move them if you want.’

Cam doesn’t want. He settles into them more, and Dubi laughs at him, fond.

Dubi’s still wearing the clothes Cam had given him, and he strips out of the sweats easily, sliding under the covers and nudging at Cam until he does the same.

‘An electric blanket?’ he asks, finding warm sheets.

‘My feet get really cold,’ Dubi whines, and immediately puts his head on Cam’s chest. Cam’s hand goes to his hair automatically. It’s mostly dry now, kind of fluffy.

‘Your hair is so soft,’ Cam says, smoothing it down. Dubi makes a sleepy mumble that Cam thinks might be a protest. ‘It is,’ he says. ‘It’s nice.’

Another mumble. Cam will never understand how Dubi can go from wide awake to basically unconscious in the space of a breath.

‘Fine,’ he says, ‘argue with me, I don’t care.’

A third mumble, barely more than a snore.

Cam lets it go, settles down into the pillows a little more, and drifts off easier than he’s done in what feels like weeks.

-

Cam wakes up to find Dubi still fast asleep. His hair has fallen into his face, making him look impossibly young. He pushes it back off his forehead and Dubi snuffles, pushing into the touch.

Cam scratches across Dubi’s scalp gently, waiting for him to wake up fully, but when he does open an eye, it’s fuzzy, out of focus, and Cam realises suddenly that Dubi’s in subspace.

‘Morning, B,’ he murmurs, tugging on the longer strands gently.

Dubi opens his other eye and gives him a wonky smile.

‘Hey,’ he says, sleepy.

‘You okay?’ Cam asks, going back to the light scratches behind his ears, at the nape of his neck.

Dubi hums, does a full body stretch, shivering like a cat.

It’s the laziest domming experience of Cam’s life, just letting Dubi sprawl out in the sheets while he touches him gently. Dubi rolls onto his front for Cam to scrape blunt nails down his back, and he makes content sounds whenever Cam gets it just right.

Eventually, though, he has to bring him back up. He leans in, noses at the shell of Dubi’s ear to whisper to him. Dubi-- Dubi turns and kisses him, awkward and off center, but deliberate.

Cam jumps, and Dubi pulls away just enough to look him in the eye. There’s a pause, no longer than a heartbeat, and Dubi-- Brandon-- leans in again for a proper kiss.

Cam should pull away. Cam should stop this before it even starts, Brandon’s in _subspace_ , and even a rookie dom knows you don’t take advantage of someone in subspace, even if they start it.

But Brandon is so gentle with his kiss, hands just flirting with his hips, and Cam thinks about the hurt look of rejection that would be on his face if Cam pulled away, and-- honestly, he wants this. Has wanted it for a while.

So he kisses back, tilts his head into the kiss, and eventually, when they’re both breathless, Brandon pulls away, beaming. His eyes are clear, not a trace of sleep or subspace.

‘Does making out count as aftercare?’ he asks, a little hoarse, and Cam laughs.

‘I don’t know,’ he teases. ‘Maybe we should try it again and see if it makes you feel better.’

‘I feel fucking great,’ Brandon says, and kisses him again, more forceful this time, pushing Cam onto his back into the mound of pillows and crumpled sheets. He crawls on top of him and deepens the kiss, and all Cam can do is let him, wrapping his leg around Brandon’s thigh to keep him close.

‘You didn’t need to wait until you were under to kiss me, dumbass,’ Cam says, when Brandon pulls away to mouth at his neck.

Brandon glances up at him, flushed. ‘Yeah,’ he says, guilty. ‘I did.’

‘Why?’ Cam asks, trailing a hand down Brandon’s back to make him shiver.

‘Because then I had an excuse if you didn’t kiss me back,’ he admits.

‘You’re ridiculous,’ Cam says, and pulls him in for another kiss.


End file.
